The UK / Life Advice For

So here's the deal: Every time we go to mainland Europe we get in some shit. It always ends with someone threatening me, either with violence or with the vague menace of being labeled "uncool" forever. So we decided to take a break from the part of Euroland where people are hard to understand and revisit the part where they (sort of) speak English. We're headed to England for the first time in a minute and will be joined by our friends in Tigers Jaw. Should be fun.

December 28-January 11, we'll be in jolly ol' and doing our best to sidestep being stabbed by hooligans. I'm most looking forward to Ireland. Never played there, but I like anyplace where I feel like the most handsome man in the room and that's how I've always felt in Ireland.

28 Dec. Canterbury, UK @ The Chantry Social Club
29 Dec. Kingston, UK @ The Fighting Cocks
30 Dec. Bury St Edmunds, UK @ Old Maltings
31 Dec. Secret Show
01 Jan. London, UK @ Purple Turtle
01 Jan. Southampton, UK @ Joiners
03 Jan. Stoke, UK @ Harry’s Bar
04 Jan. Leeds, UK @ The Well
05 Jan. Edinburgh, UK @ Studio 24
06 Jan. Glasgow, UK @ 13th Note
07 Jan. Dublin, Ireland @ Mercantile
08 Jan. Huddersfield, UK @ Sleepers Bar
09 Jan. Manchester, UK @ Kro Bar
10 Jan. Norwich, UK @ The Marquee

Shifting gears, since getting a Twitter account we've noticed that most of you don't understand that the internet is a social situation. Instead, many of you treat it like a bathroom with a closed door. So here's a quick tutorial on how to use the Internet in a less embarrassing way.

US TOUR COMPLETE / NEW RECORD

Buy this if you want to:


It's our new record. It's pretty awesome; someone on a messageboard said so. Huge thanks to Deathwish Inc. We appreciate that shit.

Just got back from a tour of the US. Holy shit, America, you really let yourself go to shit since we've seen you last. Time to get back on your exercise routine and live right, because this motherfucker was looking ROUGH. Here's some real "America the Beautiful" items to reflect on, just in time for the Fourth of July. Next time your drunk uncle is talking about his kid in the Marines doing our country proud and defending our way of life, show him the following slideshow and ask him to mull it over.









Instead of keeping a tour journal, we instead decided to be snarky assholes on youtube. This way you don't need to be literate to enjoy us.

For those of you who really want to live the EOAYSDF tour experience, we've compiled a soundtrack. Here's the songs we listened to most on tour, ranging from beautiful to utterly tasteless. It's like you're right there in the passenger's seat passing gas and talking about vagina with us!

"EUROPE IS LIKE WESTERN MASSACHUSETTS"

So here we go. Back to Europe. Last year we did some Oregon Trail shit and explored all the places that cost a ton of money in tolls and gas. Our choice. It was fun, but this year we're going with a smaller scope and keeping it to pretty much that well-worn circuit of Germany and the surrounding area. We'll be seeing Scandinavia for the first time though. Neat. Another place we'll be the ugliest humans in during that time. When we go to the Netherlands we become immediately cognizant of the fact we're ugly. It's like Adam biting the apple and knowing shame at his nakedness. Our last two tours of Europe were handled mightily by Flo at Trapdoor Tourz. This year we're doing the tour through George at No Decline Booking. The shows will be with our friends in Red Tape Parade. If you haven't picked up our split with them, do so. http://www.myspace.com/cobraxrecords